Friday, May 8, 2009

Last Night

I turned to a familiar face after a tap on my shoulder. "He's sitting in that class. He'll be over with it soon",I was told. "He wants to meet you. Don't run away. You're good at it,so I'm warning you!". That kid's still in school? I wondered. And then he appeared before me. The image I had formed of him in my mind all through these years came crashing down. He was nothing like I'd imagined him to be.Each and every moment I was standing there looking at him,with his eyes hardly meeting mine,was painful. Amidst all this turmoil in my head, JG passed me by,looking older than she ever did. There was eyeliner left on her eyes from last night's party. There were tell-tale signs of chain smoking on her lips. Her face had those lines of kindliness and she seemed tired somehow.

Then came D. She was walking with suitcases in her hand. Nothing seemed to be tying her down. Not even my presence. The poem she wrote echoed in my head. I felt lost. I wanted to cry. It struck me how this was all that I feared. Well,not all,but some of the things that I've been fearing over the last few days.

"Packing my past" could she say that? Was life really as inexplicable as she thinks it is? Why is she doing this? I was sweating I realized. She still walked past me as if she never knew me. (Somehow I wanted redemption. Wanted to get back to those times when I could spend more time with her. Talking. Apologising.)

Just then,someone handed me a paper. There were cartoons sketched all over it with indecipherable scribbling. I stood there. What the hell was going on?

He was still standiong in front of me. This was too much to take. I was helpless.

I woke up suddenly. Sweating. Nah. I can't explain everything that's been going on. And somehow not thinking about these things gave me peace. I always want to escape. Perhaps sometimes it's best I do.

Monday, May 4, 2009


And now...about something lighter (I'm taking a reverse cue here from someone :P)

After reading a review of Parachutes yesterday in t2 by Neel Adhikary,I suddenly catapulted back to those days when I was in school. Parachutes and most obviously,Coldplay,was my first love as far as rock music was concerned. They were my first discovery.

Parachutes is one unforgettable album. The sound (which I'll call pure genius in any given point of my life) is mesmerizing,fresh and so full of thought and beauty. I connect with this album a lot. From rude riffs to piano riffs that still give me goosebumps,Chris Martin's voice rises above all of it. Parachutes is all about contemplation...thinking back about all that you've done and all that you shouldn't have. It also portrays love in a very different manner. Love that can never be confessed,but haunts your mind. Never willing to bother (or stalk :P :P) but always there with its undoubted presence.When I say this, I admit the hit track "Yellow" is a sheer contrast to the other songs in the album. Chris is good at simple lyrics like the ones in "Yellow" and "Green eyes" (from the album A Rush Of Blood To the Head) which make love look so simple,so pure and so beautifully captivating.

Although I equally favour each and every track on the album that gives goosebumps,brings tears and yet remains vague most of the time, my special favourites from this album are "Spies" and "Trouble", with the 46 second track "Parachutes" remaining that brilliantly peaceful and eluding track coming a close second. This sure is a must-have album!!

Lesson Learned

It's amazing...this thing they call the human spirit...

It never fails to amuse me how,amidst all the troubles one could ever have,one wriggles out with sheer indifference...for paying heed to something utterly insignificant and untrue would only fuel people's suspicions.
Who has the right to gossip about anybody? I never realized when I used to be scolded by my parents or others. With each passing day,however,I'm realizing that every human has his or her own worth. And no one's having to tell me these things. I realize,through my obsessive (and sometimes tending towards insanity) contemplation.
There are no people in this world who wish to discuss things that bother them. They only bring back the worst memories and stir in them that weird feeling (forgive my inadequate vocabulary) of something that's like the broth that the witches stir. can do anything to do away with unpleasantness.
With every passing day,I'm also learning how important it is to never trust anyone. Yes,you read that right. There's a certain part of you that always warns you..tells you you shouldn't do something. That's your intuition. Being the impulsive wreck that I am,I always treat my intuition as stupid and have always been shown down by it. Never ever shall I defy it again,I hear myself screaming. Am I listening to myself?
But I'm learning. I'm learning the importance of all my contemplation. It all gets buried somewhere at the back of my mind,and I worry how I'll ever put all my thoughts into practice. What if I fail? But it all happens unconsciously. I never have to think twice when the time comes. I start behaving and react in the the way I always wanted to. I had conditioned myself for it. All the worry has been put to good use.

But that's about me. What about all that's been happening around me? I only think of how I'll cope with it. But what about "it"?? It's so jobless people are and how they derive entertainment from people's lives and things that are non-existent. There has to be a topic for coffee-table (you'll be surprised how unfitting and unnnecessarily glamourous that adjective is for the table that exists in reality) who's our scape-goat for today?

I never pay heed. I never will either. It's just that my life is so much more meaningful than so many others'. People will never realize,and I guess there's enough complacency in feeling that. For,if everyone loved,if everyone cared,if everyone was the same and compassion really ruled,where would incentives and the "ass-kicking" spirit come from? I wouldn't survive. And here, again out of a failure of my vocabulary,I shall call myself,and many others like me,a survivor!

Now the deed is done. Here I'm relieving myself from all my thoughts,beacuse somehow,once I've blogged, I never think about these things. Thank you creators of Blogspot! :D