A few random thoughts...moments of restlessness

Things reached their lowest point a few days back. It was Saturday morning and I had switched on VH1 to listen to some music while having breakfast before starting my day. I heard the song "Brighter than Sunshine" then. I didn't pay too much heed to the lyrics but the melody caught my attention and I immediately got addicted to the song. I kept humming it through the whole day. I thought I'd never forget the song. At a certain point during the day,I grew irritated of the song for having been stuck on my mind for so long.As my Facebook status says, when I woke up the next morning,I couldn't remember the song. I felt irritated,frustrated and confused. I needed an explanation. Perhaps it was me who was looking at life in such a complicated way. Perhaps I shouldn't try and analyse everything with my below average analysing abilities.



To hold and then to let go...when??



I always considered S my best friend. We had our ups and downs when we were younger,but there were solutions to petty kiddish problems. Always. And the problems were always because of my over possessiveness. Well,petty things it was then. What was it now? I fail to answer myself. Neither of us would deny there is something. And things such as these should never come between friends who've been with each other forever now. Why is it that the problem itself cannot be realized?



I see now...and then I don't



I'm tired of this pretence now. I'm not really as dumb as people sometimes presume I am. I see everything,but I still pretend I never noticed it all. And I continue acting dumb. Well it's not like I'm sitting and reaching conclusions on my own (before I got "visual" evidence I actually did think about this once,but I thought I was being stupid and oversuspicious). I was sitting right there and seeing everything in front of my eyes. It was dreadfully awkward. But then again,they were behaving in a very "restrained" manner. Yeah,right. With the people whom I thought I could be just the way I am,I had to mask my feelings that day for the first time. I asked for a glass of wine and sat down facing the wall and listening to music I killed myself to pay attention to...and continued pretending. Pretending I was a part of the furniture once,and sometimes to break monotony,that I was deaf and blind.

The big "Push" theory

Unless Uncle would've pushed us three the other day,we wouldn't have performed. We wouldn't have ever got the inspiration. Why do we need to be pushed for everyhting? Yes...its something I love doing with these guys...but what is lacking? Why are we so uninspired?

Heartbreak Hotel

With another chat message coming with a "pung" on Gtalk,my heart skips a beat. What...another break up? Another cheating girl? Another love story that never starts? I'm sick and tired of all the messed up love stories around me. Result? I end up getting depressed myself. I can't deny I like being the agony aunt to people I love,but this is just proving to be more and more stressful for me. It's not like things are as bright as the sunshine for me. I only end up feeling sad. Really really sad.

The brighter sides of life...

Tanya couldn't have come to town at a better time than this. A few conversations on the phone (for several hours each :P) just helped me feel soooooo much better. Unplanned outings (and growing tipsy and acting strange in libraries) and eating to my heart's delight...who's giving me the chance to complain here? The heat and growing more and more merciless with each passing day but my religious swimming is making me feel so much better and I'm not even having to sleep in the afternoons these days!!! Not to mention my reducing belly :D
Well...not that bad,eh? Better than poor fatty and many more who have no generators or air conditioners in their houses! *smile*