Music. As soon as I sense the mentioning this word, I lose myself. People often tell me that it’s wrong to reveal your weaknesses, but I have little choice. The greatest pleasure from music, to me, is by sharing it.
Music according to me has no barriers. I learn Indian classical, but I listen to everything, right from Blur to Floyd to Beethoven. I have faced many instances where people criticize me for being unfaithful to what I’m learning.
Music has also taught me so much. It’s all for the moment, to lose myself in the passion, to let my melody do the talking. This is one reason why my 20th birthday was so special….I was immersed in what I loved most.
Not everyone believed I was sane when I told them my band will be performing on my birthday. The college union fresher’ welcome was very tactfully scheduled for the 24th, but the prospect of being associated with music on my birthday excited me.
When I reached for the first practice session, however, I was in for a few surprises. I had to tackle my orthodox stance. What I usually refer to as “bhool bhaal gaan” in colloquial Bengali suddenly hit me in my face. Singing for the college band was my dream, being invited for it was a dream come true….but this?? Something hit me very hard….am I dong justice? What if people heard of what I was doing? The questions that I would have to answer gave me sleepless nights (thankfully only two…for we started proper rehearsals only two days before the actual performance). It always pained me to come out of my shell and do something I wasn’t fully willing to do….but this time I took a chance. And thank God for that!
There’s so much I’ve learned in the past few days. I fell in love with the band, my co-members and the feeling of being in a band surrounded by music once again came back to me after a very long time. Illusions had taught me to enjoy my music and fall in love with it. But here, I learnt that music truly doesn’t know any barriers, and it’s all about having fun onstage- I jumped, ran around, cared a damn for what the world thinks and cared lesser for people who criticized me for what I was doing. I sang songs which were meant for male vocalists, but I had no qualms about it. My friends laughed about it (and so did I along with them) but after it was all over the smile on my face was enough as an answer to all my questions. We freaked out and enjoyed ourselves…that’s all I cared about. Music is about that…no one’s corrupting it….it’s too great to be corrupted and messed with. There’s something good in everything…it’s for us to find that out and enjoy it.
P.S. my biggest challenge was singing ‘Smooth’. Avi did a neat job with it, but I being a female vocalist, didn’t find it easy.
In the evening I went out with my best friend for dinner at McDonald’s at Mani Square. A certain somebody hadn’t bothered to call me or wish me following a supposed “tiff” so I didn’t make any effort to involve that person.Hmph. Dinner was going fine till my dear friend started a tantrum-that she’ll not believe I’m a year older till I cut a birthday cake. Now, at 10 30 in the night, how on earth am I supposed to find a birthday cake? But I still complied and we went on a hunt. All the shops were closing down, when we found a single confectionary still open. On impulse, we went in there to find all the cakes lying in remains or in a very sorry state. What caught shalini’s eye was a mousse…a choc butterscotch mousse which looked tempting indeed but was hardly suitable for a substituting a birthday cake. As usual I lost. We bought it and went back to McDonald’s. I couldn’t believe I was doing it…but I “cut” the mousse and yummmmm!!! The best birthday cake ever!!! I was insane, doing crazy things…but loving it all!
Music according to me has no barriers. I learn Indian classical, but I listen to everything, right from Blur to Floyd to Beethoven. I have faced many instances where people criticize me for being unfaithful to what I’m learning.
Music has also taught me so much. It’s all for the moment, to lose myself in the passion, to let my melody do the talking. This is one reason why my 20th birthday was so special….I was immersed in what I loved most.
Not everyone believed I was sane when I told them my band will be performing on my birthday. The college union fresher’ welcome was very tactfully scheduled for the 24th, but the prospect of being associated with music on my birthday excited me.
When I reached for the first practice session, however, I was in for a few surprises. I had to tackle my orthodox stance. What I usually refer to as “bhool bhaal gaan” in colloquial Bengali suddenly hit me in my face. Singing for the college band was my dream, being invited for it was a dream come true….but this?? Something hit me very hard….am I dong justice? What if people heard of what I was doing? The questions that I would have to answer gave me sleepless nights (thankfully only two…for we started proper rehearsals only two days before the actual performance). It always pained me to come out of my shell and do something I wasn’t fully willing to do….but this time I took a chance. And thank God for that!
There’s so much I’ve learned in the past few days. I fell in love with the band, my co-members and the feeling of being in a band surrounded by music once again came back to me after a very long time. Illusions had taught me to enjoy my music and fall in love with it. But here, I learnt that music truly doesn’t know any barriers, and it’s all about having fun onstage- I jumped, ran around, cared a damn for what the world thinks and cared lesser for people who criticized me for what I was doing. I sang songs which were meant for male vocalists, but I had no qualms about it. My friends laughed about it (and so did I along with them) but after it was all over the smile on my face was enough as an answer to all my questions. We freaked out and enjoyed ourselves…that’s all I cared about. Music is about that…no one’s corrupting it….it’s too great to be corrupted and messed with. There’s something good in everything…it’s for us to find that out and enjoy it.
P.S. my biggest challenge was singing ‘Smooth’. Avi did a neat job with it, but I being a female vocalist, didn’t find it easy.
In the evening I went out with my best friend for dinner at McDonald’s at Mani Square. A certain somebody hadn’t bothered to call me or wish me following a supposed “tiff” so I didn’t make any effort to involve that person.Hmph. Dinner was going fine till my dear friend started a tantrum-that she’ll not believe I’m a year older till I cut a birthday cake. Now, at 10 30 in the night, how on earth am I supposed to find a birthday cake? But I still complied and we went on a hunt. All the shops were closing down, when we found a single confectionary still open. On impulse, we went in there to find all the cakes lying in remains or in a very sorry state. What caught shalini’s eye was a mousse…a choc butterscotch mousse which looked tempting indeed but was hardly suitable for a substituting a birthday cake. As usual I lost. We bought it and went back to McDonald’s. I couldn’t believe I was doing it…but I “cut” the mousse and yummmmm!!! The best birthday cake ever!!! I was insane, doing crazy things…but loving it all!
Shalini and me
Later in the night, a few last minute birthday calls and messaging at break neck speed left me tired, but very excited. And yes…the certain somebody no. 1 did call! I fired that person, but I thought to forgive and forget would be the best option. Person number 2, however still didn’t call. Humph.
Overall…it was one of my happiest buddays ever!!!! *smile* hadn’t felt the rush of adrenaline so strongly in a while and I never felt wiser for what I learnt over these past few days and on my 20th birthday. I couldn’t have asked for more.
7 comments:
Having noticed that you deleted my comments on your previous post,( & thus evading my questions), I should first apologise for 'calling you names' as Chandreyee di pointed out. I was inebriated that day, and my keyboard tried to rinse and release it all. Sorry, once again. I loved this particular post, but i loved the picture of the mousse in the large box even more. I have stopped celebrating birthdays, mine and others as well. But the post reminded me of the few 'celebrated' birthdays back in my childhood. About music, I don't understand music, or rather, my relation with music. sometimes, I hear a sad song, remember sad things, start crying and get angry on the SONG. There have been a number of such instances, one particular, being my throwing away the the cassette of 'Kal ho Na Ho' from the 3rd storey of a building. It survived the impact, however the glass case didn't. I listen to all sorts of music as well, and I hate people who favour particular genres only. I feel music is MUSIC, no matter how boisterous or 'sleepy' it sounds. Having said that, I am still trying to find out how the concept of music was discovered, why and how did mankind feel that it NEEDS music in the course of existence. If you ever find the answers ,or books or websites answering them, please tell me about them.
Apologisisng for all the 'impolite' things I said previously,
Twisha
P.S.: Wish you a happy belated birthday!
Thank you:)
I don't know you well...but through this post you have answered many questions i had about you. Let me first tell you...i do not feel angry with people..they only evoke sympathy in me. Twisha..i may sound like a teacher giving you a lecture...but the world is really not as bad as you think it is. Smile more often...it won't hurt you. And try looking at the world from someone's else's viewpoint too. Last but not the least...learn to forgive yourself. You have no idea...but there are many people in this world who love you dearly...respect their feelings by loving yourself first.
I don't mean to hurt you...but since you cared to mention your last post (which i'd forgotten about and deleted)I wanted to tell you these things. I have no intention of insulting you either...think of me as a friend saying these things to you.
Cheerio!!
Ooooh..!Love is all around..!
@Twisha
I think you know why I had deleted you.It's nice to see you being all sensible.:-) And girl,do spell my name right..!
@Pri
I totally identify with your feeling...especially today..! ;-)
And.do you really think you are wiser than you were at 19..more specifically on the 23rd of september?? :P
hye!well said!i'd rather prefer not to comment on the bhul-bhaal aspect...but well as you said one has to learn to deal with unsavoury incidents which occur all the time.so!and thanks re for...well...giving me the chance to play onstage!was very nice of you!cheers!may you keep the keep the flame of music burning more brightly!
I loved all that u wrote...genuine love for music... and the words that tried to express your inexplicable feelings for it were so beautiful....I enjoyed reading it a lot...
thanks a tonne all of ya!!! Riniki...Mono...chaandu...all of ya! :D
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